0 Things-to-do-Today List

Basically, the things-to-do-today list is exactly what the name implies - a list of things that need to be done during the day. It is a guide for you to follow.
For me personally, if I am going to be as productive as I would like to be then I need to have a daily schedule/list consisting of exactly what needs to be done. Even if I know what needs to be done during my day, I find myself procrastinating if I don't write myself a detailed list with imposed restrictions. I found however, when looking into this, that this is true for many other people, that they aren't as likely to get everything done in the day without the help of a list/schedule, even when they know what they should be doing.

The great thing about having a list of things to do gives your day purpose and keeps you busy. Even if you feel your day has purpose without a plan, having it all laid out in front of you, I find at least, to be comforting because you know exactly what you are doing and where you would like to get to.
I absolutely hate the feeling of a wasted day. If I haven't done what I have needed to get done during the course of the day, then to me that is a day wasted - a feeling that I can't stand. To be honest, a problem I have is that if I'm not productive or haven't done what I should have, then I will often feel quite down and disappointed with myself for allowing it to happen. This is the main reason why I started a daily schedule where I know exactly what I am doing at what time.

Your list/schedule can be made to be as simple or as complex as you would like to suit your needs. So if you are someone who just wants a list of things to do in no particular order then that's fine, or if you are someone who wants everything planned out to the smallest letter then that's also fine.
Things you may want to include:

• Obviously a list of tasks/jobs that need doing (as this is the whole purpose of having a plan) :).
• How long each task should last for.
• What time they should be carried out.
• What happens during each task. For example: If one of your tasks was to practice the guitar for an hour a day you could go into greater detail by writing what your practice should consist of. Another example could be to do 30 minutes cleaning your room. You could go into further detail by specifying what area(s) you will be focusing on.

Including time restrictions for certain jobs and placing a start and finish time on each thing on your list, you can then see how much of your day will be consumed, and gives you a better concept of time-management. You will become more and more familiar with how long things take to complete and at what times are best for specific tasks, making you more efficient. When I first started having a daily schedule I was surprised how what I needed to get done didn't consume the whole day as they previously had. Before I began using daily plans, I would waste a lot of time without realising between each task and that caused me to waste a lot of my day and finish what I needed to get done later than was necessary, if at all. Then when I started to use a daily schedule/plan I found that I could finish everything 3 or more hours earlier than I had been, which made a huge amount of difference.

I normally have three columns for three titles. The first column is for the jobs that need doing in the day, the second column is the time scheduled for each one, and the third column is for the small completion boxes that I tick once I have completed each task. For some jobs that I need to do but don't have a specific time set, I will mark with a asterisk, and they are to be completed when's best. For the vast majority of things though I will make sure that I schedule a time.

I like to get up early so I can have a good head start to the day. I can get all of my 'main' jobs completed by lunchtime, which is great. If I get up at 06:00, that gives me 6 hours, or 7 hours if I get up at 05:00, before lunch to get a main chunk of my schedule completed. I hate the feeling of having things hanging over me that I know need to be done, so by getting my main ones out of the way during the first half of the day feels brilliant.

I write my list/plan the night before. I have sometimes done it in the morning for the day, but to me the morning is when I am feeling most productive, if I spend that time writing my list of things to do for that day - I feel like it is a waste of time I could be using to get things done. In fact, I now include writing tomorrows list on today's schedule so I don't forget.

Whether it is a detailed minute-by-minute plan that you use or simply a very rough plan of what needs doing, having something there as a tool to improve your productivity is an excellent choice.
An old post of mine that you may enjoy is: 7 Benefits of a Schedule.

Detail: Things-to-do-Today List

0 G.R.O.W.

I was speaking with my mum the other day and she was telling me about an Olympic athlete who had visited her workplace to speak to the children (as she is a teacher). He is visiting many different schools up and down the country and is trying to encourage hard work so that they can do the best they can. During the speech that he gave he mentioned a concept that I found interesting, it was called the G.R.O.W. concept. It is an acronym that is supposed to help motivate not just children, but people of all ages and is something that I find really quite interesting.
G.R.O.W. is a four-stage concept that will help you put into perspective where you are now and where you would like to be. It really helps in putting you in the know with what you are doing and in which direction you are heading.

The G.R.O.W. Concept

G

'G' is the first letter of the acronym  and stands for 'goal'. In this stage you need to realise what your goal is and where you would like to be in the future. If you don't know what your goal is at the moment or haven't given it much thought, take a few moments to decide what it is. It doesn't have to be something too specific if you can't think, a general goal is okay too, although having a specific goal will give you a clearer guide to where you are heading. What are your ambitions?, what do you want to do with your life?, what would you like to achieve? These are the questions that you need to ask yourself.

I've said it before in many different posts that I have written, having a goal will enable you to set your sights on something. It will set the standard for what you are wanting and gives you something to strive for. It will help motivate and push you forward. For example: If you were taking a test and you didn't have a goal, then you would just hope for a good result. However, if you have a goal to get an 'A' or top marks, then that would be something you would be aiming for, and in preparations leading up to the exam - would drive you forward to make sure you do everything you can to get that result. Of course you would still hope for good results, but you will have made sure that you have given yourself the best chance to get those results - because it is your goal.

R

Once you have decided on your goal, the next step in this process is to be real with yourself and ask what is the 'reality'? What is your life like at the moment and are you anywhere near to, or on the road to, reaching your goal? Definitely do NOT brush past this step. Whilst it may seem trivial, the actuality is that this is very important to have a grasp of. If you say that everything is fine and it actually isn't then chances are that you aren't going to reach your goal or you will but at a much later point in time than is necessary. For example: going back to the example I used a minute ago about wanting to get good grades. If I was wanting to get an 'A' or whatever, and I did an assessment on my current situation and said everything was fine, when in actuality I don't revise, I don't work as hard as I could, I skip over the bits I find hard, then I'm kidding myself and even though I might have the goal of getting top marks - in reality it doesn't look like I'm going to achieve them.

That's what this point is about, being honest about your current state and giving yourself some home truths that yes you aren't really doing much and you are wasting a lot of time. It is an important step that you need to go through if you want to make an improvement.
If you do this self-assessment and the reality is that everything is going well at the moment and everything is heading in the right direction, then that's great news. However, if you are using this concept and have just set in place a goal, then there's a high chance that the reality of your situation could be better.

O

The third step in the G.R.O.W. concept is to now decide what are your 'options'? Now that you have a goal that you would like to achieve and have acknowledged the reality of your current situation, you now need to go through your options and decide what the best plan of action is. You may have a number of options that you can choose from, but you will need to pick one you are going to stick with.
Going back once again to the example of the person who wants to get top marks in a test, they have many options. Revision is an option, studying with the help of someone may be an option, taking extra classes or doing extra work could be another option, etc.
Whatever you decide to pursue, the options are there - they just need you to notice them.

W

The last letter of the G.R.O.W. acronym is 'w', and it stands for 'will'. What 'will' you do? Along with everything else: having a goal; knowing your situation; and knowing your options, having the will to do what you intend is especially important. It's all good knowing where you want to be and knowing how you are going to get there, but without the willpower to make sure it happens, how will it happen?

Getting to where we want is not always easy, in fact it normally seems far from easy but as is life. Often people look to those who have become successful and in their mind somehow think that they got to where they are magically and that they haven't really put in that much work. In reality however, this is the opposite. People who have got to where they want is because they have worked hard to get there and have remained focused on their goal. Yes, I will admit that not everyone who has got to where they want has worked hard, but on the whole the vast majority have.

Detail: G.R.O.W.

0 The World is Such a Diverse Place

I don't know why but I've always been fascinated with time and how people from all over the world spend it in so many different ways. While you are using it to do something of your own choice someone else is using it to do a thing of their choice. From the die-hard athletes out there who train 6+ hours a day every day in hope of getting to somewhere like the Olympics, to the Chinese painter who spends most of his time on the lake, we all use it for different purposes.

The world is such a diverse place and each and every person is different and unique. What makes us different is our personalities, our character. Each of us has a unique personality, it makes us who we are. We can share similarities with other people, sometimes we can be extremely similar to someone else but we will never be the same as that person.

I sometimes wonder what the world would be like without diversity, if we were all the same? Would it be a better place or a worse place? I often hear when this question comes up that the world would be a boring place if everyone was the same - it wouldn't be fun. Is this true though? If every person on the planet had the same personality as you and was just like you would it be good or bad? It wouldn't be hard to find someone with the same interests as what you have as you'll all be the same, so I suppose that would be a good thing. Also, if we were all the same we would all hold the same interests and so would be likely to get along with each other. 

In terms of would the world be a better place overall, is something that I'm not convinced about. We would all have the same moral-code, whether that would be a good thing or not would depend on the moral-code you live by or if you even live by one at all?

Would humanity be in the same place as it is now though if everyone was the same?...I don't think it would. We all have different interests and those interests have been what has helped people (past and present) become experts in their chosen field(s). If everyone had the same interests, who would take an interest in everything else that we all weren't interested in? If we were all the same and we all hated, let's say for example engineering, who would pursue engineering? would the world be as it is today...no.

Also whilst it's true that many people who are very similar get along, it is also true that a lot of people don't mix well with people who are very similar to them.

The world would not be what it is today without diversity. Each of you reading this will be in a different environment, with different people in your life, with different personalities and characteristics, having different interests, pursuing different goals and aspirations...yet we are all human and are all connected because of this. Yes the world is a diverse place, and yes we won't agree with everything, but it is what it is and is something we will never be able to change... and really, is it something that we would want to change?

If you are someone who feels different, someone who goes against the 'norm' so to speak, don't worry because everybody is different - don't try to change who you are - pursue your own goals, live your own life, and never be afraid of diversity. 

"Diversity: The art of thinking independently together" 

Malcolm Forbes

Detail: The World is Such a Diverse Place

0 How to be Less Clumsy

I think in a sense we are all clumsy to a degree, tripping over or dropping things, but some people seem to take clumsiness to a whole new level.

Clumsiness in general is not an illness or disease but more of an impracticality - however, you will never be able to prevent yourself from doing another clumsy thing again because those moments do occur, but for those of you who are particularly clumsy, here are some things you could do to help be less clumsy.

Also if you are in adolescence then your body is still growing and you may still be adjusting to the changes your body is going through, and this may be why you are clumsy.

1. Take Note of your Surroundings

It may sound a little patronising for me to be saying "watch what you are doing" but this really may be the case. Some clumsy people are in a world of their own, which is nothing bad, but it can result in clumsy behaviour as they're to drawn into what they're thinking that they don't notice what is going on around them...cue bull in a china shop.

2. Don't Rush so Much

A common reason why people are clumsy is because they don't take enough time to do things and rush them. This is particularly true for busy people who have an awful lot of things to do in a seemingly very small amount of time. When we rush though, we are bound to make mistakes.

When a person is taking a test, you can be rest assured that you will hear the term "take your time". The reason being obvious...because they don't want  that person to rush and make a clumsy mistake.

If we could perform tasks at an optimum level whilst at the same time maintaining a high speed, great, but on the whole we can't and need to realise this. 

3. Sight Problems

Just because you are clumsy does not mean that you have a sight problem, however having said that, it also does not mean that you don't have a sight problem. The best thing to do to see if this is true is to have an eye test with an optician. Once there you will be able to know if you have a sight problem or not. If you do, then chances are that this will have been contributing towards your clumsiness, if not the cause of it. If you do not, then you can be sure that your clumsiness doesn't stem from this. 

4. Try Balancing Exercises

Some clumsy people struggle with  being able to balance properly and this can really affect clumsiness. This doesn't mean that people with a balancing problem will walk around like they are on a constant tightrope, but losing balance whilst doing day to day things could be an indication.

Balancing exercises can help with developing proper pressure and force in many different positions, and forces you to hold that said position for an extended period of time - something that will help balance, hence why they are called balancing exercises.

More serious balancing problems however, I would recommend that you see a specialist who will have an insightful amount of knowledge regarding this area, as well as knowing what is the best option to take.

5. De-Stress

Sometimes knowing that we are clumsy can actually make us more anxious, and then this anxiety causes us to be more clumsy. You get yourself worked up over not wanting to make a clumsy mistake, to do something that is unacceptable. Sometimes this anxiety/stress actually causes us to make mistakes because we are flustered and/or so focused on what will happen if you make a mistake, hindering us sometimes from noticing everything (point #1) and possibly meaning that we do something clumsy.

A post of mine about stress that you may find useful if you do deal with stress regularly is: The Common Causes of Stress and how to Deal with it.

I've had experiences when I was younger of spilling drinks in other people's homes, because of this I always become a little anxious when having a drink in a person's house.
The experience that sticks out in my mind the most is when I was at my friend's house playing a multi-player game on his brand-new computer. I can't remember the game but it required us to both use the key board. We both had a drink of coke each which ,'of course', were placed next to me. Before I knew it I had knocked both drinks all over this new computer and all down the back of it...my friend was not impressed. Luckily once we had cleaned it up the computer was still absolutely fine. This incident, along with some others, is what has made me anxious whenever I am in this situation - which is quite often.

Conclusion

Clumsiness is not something to be too worried about, if it is all that is going wrong in your life then you could be in a much worse situation.

After reading this, you may start to think you are more clumsy than you are because you start to take note when you do do something clumsy. Don't forget that we will all have moments when we are clumsy but it shouldn't be the cause for alarm - it's normal. If you are someone who is particularly clumsy though, and is worried about it then I hope that these tips will help to you become less clumsy. :)

"I'm not clumsy, I'm just accident prone."

Daniel Radcliffe

Detail: How to be Less Clumsy

0 How to Improve Willpower

We've all seen people do things that we would like to achieve, yet when we try to do those things we find it hard to motivate ourselves. Excuses like "I'll do it later" or "I don't have enough time" or "It won't take that long to do so I can do it in a bit" are all ways of getting out of doing what needs to be done. Often the reason why people don't achieve what they want is simply down to a lack of willpower. 
A recent post of mine discussed this: Willpower is Key to Success.
Here are some ways in which you can improve your willpower.

1. Get Enough Sleep

Sleep is a huge factor into how your willpower will perform. If you aren't getting enough sleep then you're body is going to be physically and mentally tired, not being able to perform at its optimal level. If you get enough sleep then your body is going to be alert and full of energy. Because sleep is needed to repair and rest the body, a lack of sleep will not enable it to be able to do so effectively.
If you are tired then your body won't be as willing to cooperate with your demands and your willpower won't have the staying power that it normally does, and if you do manage to get yourself to do what needs doing then it will feel like much more effort is needed than normal. 

When I haven't had enough sleep I can definitely tell and will often drift off when I'm trying to concentrate. Normally it is when I am sat down - so for example when I am working on Smart Blog or when I am studying, also I find it hard to stay awake when I am travelling if I'm tired.

If you are wondering how much sleep your body needs I'll refer you to this article here: How Much Sleep do we Need?

2. Willpower Exercises

Willpower exercises are all about getting you to test your willpower as well as helping to boost it in the process. For example, say you were to do something for a couple of weeks, this would get you into the mindset of carrying it out and would at the same time allow you to see how much willpower you have to make sure that you do carry it out. Also by having something that you make sure that you do gets you used to making yourself do things even when your not feeling like it. 

Willpower exercises can be anything, as long as it gets you doing that something most days of the week and for an extended period of time over the course of a couple or more weeks (or even longer). Some examples of willpower exercises could be: using your opposite hand for two weeks, not swearing for a few weeks, giving something up, exercising everyday, etc. 

3. Set Yourself a Goal

Making sure that you have something to strive for is as important as having the determination to go for something. Having a goal means that you can firmly set your sights on something and have a clear purpose to put your willpower to use. Having a goal without any willpower is useless, but likewise - having a strong willpower without a goal is also useless. 

4. Look to Others

A great motivational thing that I do and not just me but others too, is to look to people who have achieved or are on their way to achieving what you are wanting to achieve. Sometimes when we are the only person going for a particular goal it can be disheartening when there is no-one else to inspire you. With the internet, nowadays you can find tips and advice from lots of different success stories - whether it be getting in shape or cooking professionally, their are so many people to inspire you. 

5. Keep a Track of how long you do it for

I find that when I am trying to stick at something, what I have done feels longer than reality. For example: When I went through a stage of jogging each morning I crossed off the days on a calendar so I could see how long I had been doing it for. After a certain amount of time I went to count up the days I had been doing it. I was shocked that I had only been doing it for just over a week when it felt like to me I had been doing it for two or three weeks. It made me realise that we can distort the time in our heads and so (if it is hard to motivate yourself to do) can make it feel like you have been doing it longer than in reality. 
Keeping track of what you do puts things into perspective and can better help you put a plan into place. 

6. Have a Rival

If you are in a position where you could get someone to start with you is brilliant for spurring you on, especially if this person happens to be a highly motivated person. Rivalry often makes us push and try harder than we usually would just for the sake of beating or keeping up with them. So by making sure that you have someone (a rival of sorts) to do this thing with means you are both going to help each other continue, also with the added bonus of not wanting to let them down. 

"Willpower is essential to the accomplishment of anything worthwhile." 

Brian Tracy

Detail: How to Improve Willpower

0 How to be Less Sensitive

Firstly before I get into this post, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. In fact sensitivity often enables us to sympathize and empathize with others better than less sensitive people. So why bother becoming less sensitive?

This post isn't aimed at getting rid of a persons sensitivity, no - that would not be a good thing to strive for, but at those who are over-sensitive. Overly-sensitive people can often have problems in their day-to-day lives that other people don't, such as: overreacting to comments & situations, taking offense over trivial things, becoming upset over trivial things, feeling vulnerable and threatened, etc. These can make that persons day-to-day living harder than you might expect.
For those of you who are more sensitive than the average person and would like to put a restraint on how sensitive you are, good news, you can reduce your sensitivity.


1. Don't take Everything to Heart

Don't take offense at, or to heart, everything that somebody else says, if you do - you are going to be offended a lot. Not everyone is out to make you feel upset of distressed so don't take the things people say to heart when they have no intention of trying to cause you emotional harm. 

If you are offended over what someone says that is purposefully directed at you, have you ever thought that it could be because it's true? Sometimes the truth hurts, and when someone says something that we are unhappy with maybe it is because there is truth behind it? Say to yourself  "Is this a true statement?" and if it is, then maybe it is a justified statement? Of course not all true statements are fair to bring up and are completely unnecessary, but sometimes they are.

Another thing that can be taken the wrong way and is generally dramatized inside the mind is criticism. No-one likes criticism as it points out flaws with what you are doing and so is something you could improve upon. Now the person telling you this could be meaning it in a constructive sense or they could be doing it out of spite - lets have a look at both.
If the person is giving criticism constructively it is more than likely because:

• a) they want to help you improve where you need to improve

• b) it is vital that you improve for whatever reason (e.g. in the workplace)

• c) They feel you would benefit from the criticism by knowing where improvements could be made, and in the long-run (and short-run) be better for you.

If the criticism is given constructively then it isn't because they are wanting to bring you down or say it provoke an emotional response, they're doing it because they want to help. So don't fly off the handle or let your emotions get the better of you, just think to yourself that it can't have been nice giving the criticism and that it's good of them to want to help.

If they are doing it spitefully just for the sake of putting you down, again, don't let your emotions get the better of you. It can be very easy to allow your reaction to be based off of emotion (as so many are) rather than thought. Don't let it bother you and carry on, you can say something as simple as "okay, thanks" and just carry on doing what you are doing.

2. What Triggers your Sensitivity?

It is common for a person to be more sensitive in one area than others.  Are we reacting to what is happening now? or are we reacting upon instinct? Often when someone reacts to somebody else at the time, the person is either sad, angry, under stress, etc. These emotions can often lower someones tolerance-levels. It can be something as simple as another person asking them to do something. 

It's common for a trigger to be the result of a earlier life-event. For example: They have trouble with people in authority because they were under the authority of an over-controlling parent perhaps? This is just one example of a previous experience that could trigger a persons sensitivity to react more strongly towards a situation.
When you do feel your sensitivity wavering, stop, and think about a past experience that could be the trigger of your current emotions in the situation, and if it does stem back to a earlier event, then you have something that you need to address.

However, not all triggers are from past events and may be something that has grown and materialized over time. Look into what you find hard to deal with, and don't just have a quick think before declaring to yourself that you are fine, really look deep within yourself and have a search for what bothers you and gets your emotions going. It can be easy to avoid doing this because you avoid the sensitive issues that you don't really want to have to think about and actually want to bury and forget. As long as those feeling remain there however, the sensitivity to those issues will also remain.

3. Don't Lie to Yourself

Over sensitivity is a topic commonly avoided and can be normal for it to be a sensitive subject for others, bringing out denial. A very hard task can sometimes be realising that you too may be a sensitive person, and your characteristics and certain behaviours could actually be a way of coping with sensitive subjects. Not many people can honestly and openly admit to a problem when they have one, or spend the time contemplating on why and how it came about. These people who do though are the people who are able to make change and take hold of their problem and change. 

A big step in finding out if you are overly-sensitive around certain issues is simply by taking the step to search within yourself for answers. Sometimes this process can take hours of self-conflict to gain any results, but this is good, self-conflict indicates that you are putting effort and thought into gaining insight to how you actually feel.

4. Govern your Emotions

Much easier said than done. When you feel your emotions starting to take hold of you, or you can foresee a situation arising whereby your emotions are going to take hold, stay calm and think about what is going on. Is it really something to get worked up over? Take a deep breath and move past it, calm yourself down. Reacting in a calmer state generally produces a better outcome than when acting on pure impulse as an emotional response. You are less likely to have regrets later on too. 

5. Talk About it

Letting these sensitive issues ferment inside you isn't healthy for your well-being, they won't go away on their own and will fester inside of you. Talking to someone you trust is a great way to alleviate the burden that you hold. Opening up will not only get you thinking about these 'sore areas' but can often be a surprise to how much the subject bothers you and/or upsets you. The person will be able to comfort you and will often give advice about what they think you should do. You don't need to tell the world about it, but only 1 or 2 people who you trust. For example: a family member, a close friend, etc.

Conclusion

Keep in mind that most people aren't out to offend or hurt you, sometimes it's a persons characteristic. Find the trigger(s), keep calm, look deep within, and talk about it. Also remember that being sensitive is not a bad thing and can often aid a person in conveying sympathy to others, and can have a better view to how others are feeling at a given moment. 

Detail: How to be Less Sensitive

0 No Complaining Challenge Day 1

Recently I posted an article about the 'No Complaining Challenge' and said how I was going to have a go at it myself. I started on Thursday (11/04/13) and it is now a Monday (15/04/13), and yet I am writing about day 1? You may be wondering why I am doing so or maybe for some of you it's not a mystery? Well to put it bluntly: I complained! Argh! I was very disappointed in myself. 

At first it was fine, I was up early and ready to go. I was the only one in the house who was up and so talking was either to myself (thoughts out-loud I suppose) or minor comments to my dog, so complaining was easier to avoid. I spent the time getting ready for work. Once at work I noticed that not complaining became harder, mostly I think because of being around complacent colleagues, but still not complaining was manageable. After work I went to the gym and was fine throughout my workout, it was after whilst in the changing rooms that I made the complaint. I had bought some milk before heading to the gym as I had gotten a text from a family member requesting that I buy some while I was out. In the changing room the milk dropped out of my locker when I removed my bag and split...which lead to it leaking...which covered the changing room floor...which lead to my complaint. 

The next two days of the challenge went much better than the first and were absolutely complaint-free, it was the Sunday (yesterday 14/04/13) when the next complaint was made which would force me to start over. I was walking my dog at the time and was writing in my notebook (which you can read about the benefits of having here: Benefits of Writing a Notebook) when it started to rain causing my pages to get wet and causing my writing to cease, it was then a small complaint was made, and then another complaint a few seconds later about having made the first complaint.

Now today (15/04/13) is the restart of this no complaining challenge and has (so far) been complaint free. :) I think that I will be able to get further this time than previous as my recent failures have caused me to keep the no complaining rule in mind. I now have a much better understanding to how challenging this challenge is...roll on the next 20 days. :)

Detail: No Complaining Challenge Day 1

0 No Complaining Challenge

Complaining is such an easy and negative thing to do and so I am introducing this challenge, with the hope that you all try out for a learning experience as well as helping you to put off complacency. This challenge is called the 'No Complaining Challenge' and is exactly what you would expect from the title: not to complain. 

I think that whilst it's great getting people (myself included) to stop complaining, it is also a good idea for people to realise how easy it is to complain and how often they do it. I have noticed that as of recent I have been complaining more and is a habit that I am not fond of, therefore this challenge is one that I myself will try to carry out. 

I'm not just talking about those major complaints that you make but also those minor ones too. E.g. "the weathers horrible I hate it"! Also labelling someone with a negative comment such as: "(name not mentioned) is a rubbish singer, I don't want to listen to them" is not allowed. Now these may seem trivial to you but the aim of this challenge isn't to get you to become a mindless robot but to have a better grasp upon the amount of times a complaint is made by you and others - at the end of this challenge I'm hoping that people will think much more about what they're going to say instead of announcing a complaint.

A post that you may find helpful to read before taking on this challenge is: How to Stop Complaining. 

Rules

1. No Complaining

This golden rule to this challenge and is the most important one. Do not complain once, of course it wouldn't be a challenge if this was going to be easy so I expect people to break this one including myself (not on purpose)! If you aren't strict with yourself the only person you will be cheating is yourself and won't gain anything from the experience - so try your very best not to complain eve if it means stopping yourself mid-sentence to avoid doing so.  

Every time you make a single complaint, no matter how far you are into this challenge, you start right from the beginning. This may mean that you have to keep starting over but does an even better job at getting you to be thoughtful with your words. Even if you take a whole year to complete this challenge because of having to keep starting over and over, in the end the results will be good. 

The average amount of time it takes people who take on this challenge is 4 - 8 months!

2. 21 Days

You must keep this challenge up for 21 days, only doing it for 1-2 days won't pose the same challenge or have as big an impact upon the way you think and speak as 21 days will. Take note of the day you start (e.g. marking it on a calendar) and make note of when you finish.

Optional Rules

These are rules that you can either allow yourself to be bound to or not, they are fully optional and depends solely on the individual, you can include as many or as little as you want.

1. Duration

Instead of coping with this challenge for 21 day you can increase the amount of days to make it harder for you or to allow yourself more time to get into this good habit. A good step up I recommend would be to go to 35 days. This is a little over a month and it takes on average a habit 20 - 30 days to become cemented into ones life if practiced every day, so 35 (5 weeks) is perfect for making sure.

Then again hardly anyone completes this in the first 21 days as they normally will have to restart many times making it a lot longer so incorporating this rule is entirely your choice. 

2. Bracelet 

Will Brown is normally quoted as the originator of this technique and is a very simple and surprisingly effective one at that. The idea is to wear a bracelet and when you complain, take it off and place it around your other wrist and start again from day 0. 

3. Elastic Band

I've often heard of this technique when people are trying to break a habit, and that is to place an elastic band (or bands) around your wrist and each time you indulge yourself in this bad habit you in turn pull back and release the elastic band so that it snaps against your wrist. The idea of this isn't to cause yourself pain for the sake of it but that you come to associate this bad habit to the uncomfortable pinging of the elastic band(s).

4. Replace a negative with a positive

If you notice that you are about to complain or are on the verge of complaining then turn it into a positive and say it aloud. For example: "the weather is horrible" could become "we need the rain" etc.

Detail: No Complaining Challenge

0 How to Know if a Guy Likes You

After recently publishing a post called 'How to Know if a Girl Likes You', I thought it to be fitting of me to post an article for girls about how to know if a guy likes you. 
When you are wanting to know if somebody likes you it can sometimes be easy, and sometimes it can be very hard. There are some signs however that will make you more aware of a secret admirer. 

1. He Keeps Looking at You

An obvious way to tell if a guy fancies you or not can be by simply noticing if he often looks/stares at you. When you look at him whilst he's doing this he may hold your gaze for longer than what you would normally experience, or if he's shy he may quickly avert his gaze somewhere else to try and avoid detection.

He may also try to catch your eye so that you look back at him. Also if you do make eye contact and you notice that he glances at your mouth it can be another sign that he is interested.


2. Gets Close to You

Another sign that he may have a crush on you is if he gets in your personal space often, this shows that he is wants to get closer to you. For example: he stands closer than he does with other people, he leans in to you, when he walks past you he walks closely so that he sometimes brushes the side of you.

3. He Often Faces Towards You

If he is interested in you then he will be less inclined to turn his back towards you but will more often than not be facing towards you, or at least have himself in a position where he is able to see you. He may not even realise he's doing it in which case it could be a subconscious thing he is doing.

4. Makes Himself More Presentable 

When he is near you you may see that he adjusts his clothes often or brushes his hair, or does some other adjustment on several occasions may be a sign that he is trying to make himself look more appealing to you. If you notice that he looks cleaner or more presentable than usual when you see him it may be because he is trying to make a better impression on you.

5. Big Themselves Up

Listen to what they're saying as some guys feel the urge to 'prove' their worth by telling you about themselves. It can also be a sign of shyness or nervousness.

6. Physical Contact 

Another sign that he likes you is if he tries to or does make physical contact with you often. He may lean against you, brush himself against you casually (e.g. like when walking past you as mentioned in point #2), rests his hand on you, mock punches you gently or pokes and prods you, gives you hugs, etc. 

7. Tries to Make you Jealous

Some guys flirt with lots of girls but if you notice that he is intentionally flirting with someone whilst keeps glancing at you it's pretty obvious that it's you he really wants and is wanting to see how you react. It is an odd thing to do when thinking about it as it could put you off, however if he's doing it in plain sight of you, or is saying things in a loud fashion so that you can hear, and keeps glancing at you, you have nothing to fear as he's more interested in you than he is her. 

8. Protective and Helpful

You may start to see that he becomes more helpful towards you or may get a little protective over you when other guys are around or when someone makes a comment against you. He may move closer to you, put his arm around you, stand blocking your view to another guy so that he can't see you and you can't see him, some of the things to watch out for.

9. He Has the Same Interests as You

Now this can very easily be a coincidence that he has the same interests as you but it can be also just as easy for him to say he has the same interests as you. If you tell him your interests and he then says he's also interested in that but when asking him further doesn't actually know that much about the topic - it may be a sign that he is just saying it so that he becomes more appealing to talk to. 

He may research the topics of interest and then catch-up with you so he can talk to you about it. 
Also if you introduce him to something you are interested in which he had not heard of or hadn't really bothered with before, like for instance a band or film, then he may suddenly over night become really interested in it and makes sure he tells you about it.

10. Nervousness

If he likes you there is a likely possibility that he gets nervous around you. He may display this by sweating more than usual, going red when you look at him or talk to him, nervous laughter, eyes quickly dart away when you make eye-contact. Normally a guy gets nervous around a girl when he finds her attractive as he doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of her. 

11. His Friends 

If his friends tease him about you subtly whilst around you then this could be a big indication that he likes you. You may also find that they ask you questions about him to see if you like him or not. 
Be aware that sometimes some friends will be doing it as a wind-up to see if you do like him when he actually doesn't like you, or may be trying to not make it work for you two as they have reasons why they don't want you two to get to know each other. It's a bit of a two-edged sword, on one side it can be one of the best signals that he does, and on the other side they may just be looking for laugh. 

12. Turns-Up where You are

You may see that he coincidentally turns-up in the places where you are. Maybe you mentioned to him that you was going shopping with some friends on Saturday....and on Saturday he also turns out to be shopping. 
It may just be coincidence so don't read too much into it, but if you do notice that he turns up in places you tell him you're going, it may be more than coincidence.

13. Punching and Teasing 

If he punches or prods you in a playful way, or he teases and makes fun of you playfully, it's because he is trying to get your attention. He may want you to flirt with him too.
If it is annoying or painful make sure you tell him though as the more you let it go on the more irritating it will become and you may end up starting to dislike him. You can say that you don't mind him doing it but not so hard or harsh. 

14. Compliments

He may compliment you regularly which could mean he likes you. If you change something about yourself (e.g. your hair) and he notices then this is a good sign as it means that he is observant of you. If he gives you a compliment about it then this could be an even clearer sign he is interested in you. 

Conclusion

Like I said at the end of my last post about 'how to know if a girl likes you' some guys display some of these traits in their normal personality so make sure you don't jump to conclusions and presume that a guy likes you when it could just be who he is. Put things into context first, and remember to be observant. 
Hope this has helped. :)

Detail: How to Know if a Guy Likes You

0 How to Know if a Girl Likes You

Ahhh the age-old questions of whether a girl likes you is still as relevant today as it ever has been. Don't know what all the pinches and punches are about?, what the teasing is about? What all those looks are about? Well maybe this post will shed some light for some of you guys but keep in mind that each girl is different and some girls are naturally flirty in a friendly way.

1. She plays with her hair or adjusts her clothes when around you or speaking to you

This is a sign that a girl likes you. If you notice that she keeps adjusting her clothes when she's around you or maybe plays, twirls, and fiddles with her hair, this is a sign that she may in fact fancy you. It may be because she wants you to notice her so she may decide to redo her hair in-front of you or may want to look more presentable towards you. 


2. She laughs at your rubbish/boring jokes

If she likes you she will want you to see that she likes being in your company and wants to get along with you so will often laugh at your unfunny and boring jokes. She wants you to like her too and often by laughing at your jokes will make you more comfortable and confident around her. Don't purposefully make bad jokes as this can sometimes backfire and actually dull the conversation. 

3. She smiles at you when you talk to her or say "hello"

This will show that she is happy to see you if she automatically smiles at you. When you talk to her she may also smile then, it's quite a hard emotion to not display when you are genuinely happy to see someone. Some people do naturally smile at people out of politeness too so don't jump to conclusions just yet. 

4. She says things like "awww" or "cute" in reference to you

If she says things such as "awwww" or "how cute" in response to an action you just displayed or made this can mean that she is flirting with you. 

5. Random hugs for just you

It seems acceptable for people to give other people hugs upon greeting or just as a random part of affection. If you notice that she reserves hugs for you and only you then this can be a good indication that she does like you and wants to get closer to you but is trying to do it in a way that is discrete and is trying to avoid suspicion. 

6. Hits, punches, pinches, and teases you

She isn't wanting to hurt you and isn't trying to be nasty to you but is actually after your attention. By making physical contact or by teasing you it's hard for you to ignore her giving her the attention she wants from you. Also it may be that she wants to make contact with you and so does that through playfully hitting you. It can be as well to see what your figure is like, to see how toned-up or toned-down you are, or to see how you respond to her actions. 

Normally playfully hitting people or poking and prodding them are done by more confident females, so don't assume that just because a girl doesn't make contact with you that she doesn't want to - she may just be more shy and reserved. On the flip side, don't go around thinking that every girl wants to make physical contact with you because it will just end up being embarrassing for you.

Having said this I have a friend who hits and punches guys playfully but she isn't interested in them in a crush sort of sense, so be aware on the girl.

7. Her friends tease you about her or giggle a lot when you two are near to each other

This is normally a big giveaway that she likes you if her friends are involved. Girls often confide in each other and so you could have quite easily have made it into a conversation. If they all giggle or smile and are looking at you then this is a good sign. It's an even better sign if they ask you questions about her or tease you about her. 
It's almost definite that she likes you if one of her friends or more than one of her friends tells you that she does in fact like you, unless they are all winding you up but this isn't normally the case. This is often the best way to tell. 

8. The way she looks at you

There are normally two different ways a girl who likes you will look at you. The first is where she will often look at you and/or hold your eye contact for a few seconds, longer than the average. 
The second is where she will look at you and when you look at her she will quickly look-away to try and avoid being seen looking at you. 
You may need to put things in perspective first, she may be looking at you to get your attention about something, or may be just pulling your leg, or maybe it's because shes a naturally inquisitive person and is someone who often observes people.

9. She bites or licks her lips

This is another possible giveaway that a girl might like you, more so if she is looking at you whilst doing it. Maybe her lip subtly quivers or trembles when you look at her or talk to her, this can be a sign that she likes you.

10. She states something waiting for you to come to assistance

This is another sign that she likes you, if she starts playing this. Maybe shes playing pool or snooker and is pretending to not know how to hold the cue properly so you go over and show her how, leaning over her and positioning her hands properly. Maybe she's carrying something or trying to lift something and exclaims "it's too heavy" meaning she wants you to lift it. Or maybe you and her are outside and she keeps saying how cold it is, wanting you to lend her your jacket/coat. 
If there is more than one guy around then she may not want someone else to give her the assistance she wants, because she wants it specifically from the guy that she likes.

11. She helps you

Watch out for the things she does for you maybe by offering help and assistance when needed. If she's always ready to help and often offers help then (unless she is like it with everyone) this is good news. Don't purposefully overdo asking her for assistance as you may become a bit of an annoyance and she may start to not want to help you.

12. She listens to you 

This is a good sign that she likes you if you notice that she always listens to you and values your opinions. It's a much better sign if she wants to know your opinion and views when in a group of other guys as she's singling you out and wants to know what you think.

Conclusion

You should stay aware that some girls will display many of these traits as part of their normal personality and it doesn't mean that they will like you, so remember to be observant to her personality and to what is more out-of-character. Also, don't get caught-up over everything she does and never try to over-Analise them, this can often make your situation go downhill if you're not careful. 
I hope that this has been of help to you and I wish you luck for the future. :)

Detail: How to Know if a Girl Likes You

0 How to Improve your Mood: 12 Tips

Having to go through low moods and/or depression is a tough and hard thing to escape. With practical changes to ones life though these feelings can be suppressed and you can improve your mood. 

Depending upon how bad a persons depression/low mood is, will have an impact to how well these tips will work. If they are mild enough then these tips may be all that is needed to help them, however if it is more serious then whilst these tips will be helpful for the individual - professional medical advice will be needed.

1. Talk to other People

Having problems and life-dramas can certainly bring your mood down and make it hard for you to deal with them, and when you've got no-one to talk to about it, it can be all the more difficult.

Just having someone to talk to (even if they can't actually change the situation) can really make a big difference because they can offer their moral support and advice.

We all need help sometimes and having people who you trust to depend upon is a comforting prospect. There are those who will offer you emotional help and those who will be able to offer you practical help, both of which you should be (and would be I'm sure) grateful of in a bad situation.

Friends and family members are an obvious choice to start with and can simply be by letting them know of your situation and what you're experiencing. Friends and family members aren't the only choice you have, their are people who you know and are friendly with, yet don't class as a close friend (e.g. A person at work) who you can ask for advice. You can also arrange to go and see support groups in your area or can even phone up support lines. Help from other people can make all the difference.

2. Exercise

Exercise is a great way to lift your mood and is often advised to place into your daily routine as a form of dealing with low moods and/or depression, in fact, it's advised for you to include it in your life anyway in general.

It keeps you active both physically and mentally, keeps you fit, gets you out (unless if you do home exercises), and just makes you feel better in general. It's such a simple thing to start yet so many people push it aside as they doubt that something as simple as exercise can help...but it can.

A couple of reasons to why people don't take up an exercise routine are 1. They see the whole exercising and creating a routine too much of a hassle to organise and to follow-through with, and 2. They believe that it's going to consume too much of their time and they don't have that time to spare.

Well as a matter of fact these people need not worry as it isn't hard to get yourself into a routine and you can work around your time allowance, even if it's only 10-20 minutes a day.

It doesn't have to be something that you hate to do, find something that you enjoy doing, for example: walking, football, swimming, going to the gym, etc.

If you would like to start exercising but aren't sure where to start or to how you go about doing it then here's an article that you may find useful: How to Create an Exercise Plan.

3.Wake-up Early

Waking up early is a fantastic way to kick-start your day. Getting up earlier will allow you to have more time in your day to do things (maybe start that exercise plan), you will feel as if you have more energy throughout the day - which will lead to a more positive outlook.

I won't go into any more detail to why getting up early is good for you but if you would like to read more into it then this is the full article: 10 Benefits of Being an Early Riser.

4. Do Something Fun

Try doing something fun to lighten your mood. It may seem a little childish to some of you who are reading this but is something that will prove its worth soon enough. Whatever you feel like doing (within the law of course:) ): maybe go for some exercise, play some sports, play some games with people? Whatever.

You want to be able to have some enjoyment in your life and by doing something fun can really help you feel better.

I don't include t.v, browsing the Internet, or video games, as doing something fun. Whilst I'm not saying that these can't be fun and/or entertaining, they're really just wasting your time. Coming away from t.v. and the like, I don't know how all of you feel, but I never feel like I have benefited or gained anything when I come away from watching t.v?

The full article about this is here: Is T.V Wasting your Time?

Often it's not even about doing something fun, it's normally about doing something and we will appreciate doing anything to keep our minds off of what is bothering us - it's just nice for it to be fun. 

5. Get a Hobby

Similar to point #5 however this is more of a regular and consistent way to cheer yourself up rather than just doing anything that is fun. Having an activity to partake in which is your hobby is an excellent way to take your mind away from the stress you're going through. If you share your hobby with a friend and you both do it together (for example: golf, tennis, pool/snooker, bird-watching, etc,) you can use point #1 and talk to them about your situation.

6. Get enough Daylight

There are depressive moods that scientists know about that are linked to not having enough exposure to daylight.

I watched a documentary about a year or so ago about the effects of varying light exposure to a person but can't remember what it was called. On this program there was an experiment where they made a person stay inside of their house for a week with his windows boarded up and only a limited amount of the usual light making it through, and throughout the week they monitored his mood. As the week progressed his mood declined and by the end of the week he hated the lack of natural light. When he was allowed to have his house un-boarded and the sunlight was able to shine in again - his mood dramatically improved.

Get outdoors more too and expose yourself to the natural light (don't get burnt when it's sunny though :) ). Morning light is said to be the most beneficial and is something I recommend everyone should get-up to experience.

7. Eat Healthy

Eating the right food with the essential vitamins and minerals your body needs to be sustained is what it needs to have a consistent amount of energy lasting throughout the day. making sure that you eat your 5 fruit and/or veg a day is definitely beneficial for your overall health and well being.

If you are interested here are some posts about fruit and veg: The Benefits of individual Fruits (Part 1), The Benefits of Individual Vegetables (Part 1), and Top 10 Most Popular Fruits.

When people are feeling down they can often turn to alcohol, when they are feeling low on energy they turn to things that are high in caffeine (for example: energy drinks or coffee), it's not too hard to see a slight connection to a persons feelings and food.

8. Get Enough Sleep

There is still a lot that is unknown about sleep that science has yet to uncover but it has been advised that people with depression or low moods should make sure that they are getting enough sleep. People who feel refreshed and aren't tired allow their mind to function better than that of a sleep deprived person because our bodies need sleep to recharge, and will prevent, or at least limit, tiredness bringing down their mood.

Not only is it advised that you should get enough sleep but also that you should stick to a regular sleeping routine.

Here are two articles that go more into sleep: The Functions of Sleep and How much Sleep do we Need?

9. Deal with Stressful Problems 

There are so many stressful problems that enter our lives that we have to deal with. Sometimes they appear like a bull in a china shop and other times they very discretely enter into your life without you realising it and cause you hassle. 

Stress is a killer and can definitely without a shadow of a doubt bring down a  person's mood. 

Go through what stresses are in your life (if you have them which most people do) and then decide what you are going to do about it. A lot of stressful things are things that can be sorted or will get sorted, for example: starting a new job, moving house,meeting new people, having more work than usual to get through, etc.

Sometimes there wont be a quick fix to your problem(s) and so will have to be something that you have to make the best of a bad situation about, for example: losing a job, dealing with an illness, having social problems, etc.

I've written an article about stress before if you would like to read more about it: The Common Causes of Stress and how to Deal With it. 

10. Smile More

Such a small and simple action to do yet can still have an effect on your mood. Forcing yourself to smile and telling yourself that you are happy can have a positive effect on how you view situations in life. If you're always optimistic and are trying to look on the bright side of life, then you won't have as much time for dwelling on the negatives. 

11. Stick to a Plan

A suggestion that is often made by professionals and is normally encouraged for those dealing with depression, is to make sure that your life has structure to it. If your mind isn't kept busy then it can start to dwell on matters and make it seem worse than it is, which is why suggested that you stick to a schedule.

Make sure you are strict about keeping to your schedule as it is very easy to skip one or two things on it, and once that happens you can be sure that you are likely going to stop doing more jobs that you are supposed to do, and then next give up on it all together. 

Productivity is a great way to make use of your time and has an uplifting response once you've completed what needs to be done and it's this positive effect that is good for your mind. You can see that you are getting things done and you like the results you are seeing and in return for your labour you are able to experience the satisfying feeling of productivity.  

Two posts that you may find helpful are: 7 Benefits of a Schedule and How to Plan a Schedule.

12. Don't Over-schedule

Another thing that can quite easily bring your mood down is having too much on your plate. When you have too much to get through and it becomes an endless fight trying to finish it all, can make life feel like you're living for the schedule - which it shouldn't be about. 

There's nothing wrong with having a lot of things to get through daily because for some people they thrive in that environment, but for others (and in fact for those workaholics too) when there is too much to do it can become too much for us to cope with and handle.

Detail: How to Improve your Mood: 12 Tips